So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
