I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
