i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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