drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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