I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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