They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
