I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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