Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
