I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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