i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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