i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
