I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
