Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
