Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
