Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
