it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vagina is officially offended.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
