is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
