he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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