So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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