You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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