Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
