White coat. Heels.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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