I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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