And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
