wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
