Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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