he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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