you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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