I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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