Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
