I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
