I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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