WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
porn star boner night. come get it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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