Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
