Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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