HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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