that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
