you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
