You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
