She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
