haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
