Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
