the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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