I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
