I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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