Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
