you win again, gameday.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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