And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize