there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
