He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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